The Squat Song Score

Lifting heavy resistance for high repetitions is one of the most challenging and effective ways to becoming an exceptional human being. We're not talking about lifting the most you can for one rep. Meat heads and belly bumpers can do that. Neither are we talking about circuit cardio disguised as weight training.

We're talking about something that even the most hard core power athletes cannot handle but once per week. Something that the typical fitness enthusiast will consider, try once or twice, and never return to. Just thinking about 20-rep squats makes you dizzy in the stomach.

This is not mere exercise. This is an event.

The weekly pilgrimage for Bonny Lane Club is 20-Rep Squats. The prescribed resistance is oh, only 2.5 pounds more than what nearly crushed you last week. Rep number 1 is a plummet into the unknown. Reps 13 to 19 are a walk through the valley of the shadow of death.  It's just you and the iron. You need something, anything to help pull you through.

[A short entry that better describes 20-Rep Squats: 20 Rep Squats are not for everyone ]

You're going to need a Squat Song.

This can't be just any song. Although individual taste comes into play, there are many common qualities. Attempting a description of what makes a good squat song is like trying to pin down beauty. It defies scientific empiricism. But the next time you're staring down a set of 20 rep squats or some other miserabletastic feat of total body grit, what you can do is tabulate a Squat Song Score.

Would this make a good Squat Song?

Squat Song Score =

The song begins with a military march or mysterious feel to it +4
[You are literally going to battle and the outcome is unknown.]

The song is something you could listen to at work -4
[Unless you happen to be squatting at work.]

The song is heavy on base or dub-step type reverb +2
[Heavy pitch --> heavy weights.]

The song is something you would listen to in the presence of your mom -2
[You were forged of iron by a thick forearmed, soot browed medieval mason who lives in a volcano.]

The song is a bit unreasonable considering your mostly disciplined and peaceful lifestyle. +2
[Unreasonable feats call for unreasonable noises.]

The song involves loud singing or possibly even yelling +2
[This is not the time for Jack Johnson.]

The song is loud and there is yelling right away -2
[You don't want to be floored right out of the gait. Maintain your composure. It's a long way to 20.]

There is a drop right around 90 seconds +5
[That's a critical point in the set when the deepest, dark reps are about to go down.]

There is motivational or angsty lyrics +3
[This is no walk in the park. This is no time for Louis Armstrong.]

The lyrics are weird or overly vulgar and get in the way of the sound -5
[This leaves out a lot of Muse, System of a Down, Tribe Called Quest and otherwise fitting songs.]


Here are a few classics from BLC

Bleeding Out, with a score of 8

Sail, Awolnation SS of 13

Seven Nation Army, White Stripes SS of 12

Fist Full of Silence, Glitch Mob with a SS of 6

Family System, Chevelle with a SS of 15

Lights, Ellie Goulden SS of 6


Do you have any criteria for the SSS? How do your favorites score?